27th February 2014

Sonnet 101

Musings of old muses might make amends

For the death of truth, the beauty that died,

And will anyone listen - that depends

On her dress size - plus isn't dignified.

The feminists on Radio Four say

Celebs "face of" size zero's keep us fixed

On how notions of good beautie should lay,

Self-loathing and image get intermixed.

Skinny birds snapping selfies make me dumb

(Excuse not silence for it lies in thee)

Is this dysmorphia* my gilded  tomb?

I'm afraid invisible's all I'll be;

    Laydee look backward for the why and how:

    Who wants us to look the way we do now?*

* Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)  is a condition where a person spends a lot of time worried and concerned about their appearance.

26th February 2014

Sonnet 100

What I know, Alain*, you've forgetst so long,

So I'm not challenging thee, (all thy might)

When you suggest it's  with some worthlesse songes

Low level celebs lend base subjects light.

Their ends are certain means, and straight redeem

Their songs (or sonnets , time so idly spent!)

Sung in my ear, it's not fame I esteem -

Light this dark tablet's skill and argument.

Turn on the camera: my love's sweet face survey,

(It's blind to any wrinckle craven there),

Anyway we're all satires to decay

Since everyone got famous every where.

    Give me my fame faster than time wastes life,

    So thou prevenst his scythe, and crooked knife.

*de Botton, popular media philosopher.

24th February 2014

Sonnet 99

If we're not in the mood - who should we chide?

Pheromones of attraction lose their smells,

Twenty-five years kill a man's pride,

When one  vessel is where his sex drive dwells,

And to what end since my mooncycle died?*

This golden band's got too small for the hand

I use to tweezer laydee facial hair;

Those digital scales where I take my stand

Occasionally... let's not go there - despair.

Wedding favours - sweet buttonholes we both

Wore: pink for a bride, white for you, our breath

Pressed flat in loveslip petals , hothous'd growth,

No vengeful cankers can eat them to death,

Kiss kiss me, I'm the flower you want to see...

Wild wildflower  fantasy, that's me and thee


*Appears to be the odd one out in what is a fifteen line sonnet.

22nd February 2014

Sonnet 98

When I die, tie the brutal buds of spring

Tight in my name'd wreath, their stems cut trim,

Wired close to a florist's wire metal thing

Bent to commemorate me and not him.

Buy them all hothoused, they won't need to smell;

Whatever the season - make grey their hue:

Compared to him I've not got much to tell

(Apart from being here while our kids grew).

But customise my coffin reddish white,

Paint it "...like canker in the fragrant rose"*,

Draw some formulae for lover's delight -

"Drawne after you, you patterne all of those.

Science washed romance (but not love?) away,

As with (grey) shaddow I with these did play."


*See Shakespeare's sonnet 95.

21st February 2014

Sonnet 97

That weekend we had in Madrid, it's been

 Overtaken by the end of this year,

Another tick off the  bucket list: seen

Prado; churros; bloodback bulls;  next one's where?

Now I remember - I said no next time,

Our sum of married bliss did not increase,

More newbuild on a brownfield gone sub prime

Bubbleburst, like dictatorships decease.

You had the Guardia out after me:

Tearful tourista are low hanging fruit,

I'd got speedy boarding to avoid thee -

That last fight over tapas left me mute.

When our plane lands, "...tis with so dull a cheere",

Weekends away make divorce look too neere.

18th February 2014

Sonnet 96

Last night I dreamt away this wantonesse,

Holding a doe some might shoot for bloodsport;

On waking we found we loved you much less:

Transfigured by our love of last resort.

Her virginy eye kissed chalk painted queen,

Fine chestnut hooves pointed - I was esteemed,

Light panting, a first love  unfelt, unseen:

A white hart's heavy drop less truthful deemed.

Lie still now, green jalousies might betray

Us in dreams brain doctors neglect to translate,

Dreams heart doctors disregard, flush away,

The inexact science of inner state.

Not a doe then - she was of the he sort,

Stilled in the clearing by his Queen's report.

16th February 2014

Sonnet 95

Hey guys, to be unfamous - that's a shame,

If your face is fresh like a Tesco rose

Make it your life goal to big up your name:

Sweet little earners sweets of youth enclose.

Short teens'  income maximisation days

Makes joining the band a recognised sport -

Big pecs 'n' boobs garner critical praise,

Backstage orgies for Metro* to report:

"O what a mansion have those vices got".

There's freebie backscratches for us and thee,

Stylists airbrushing every spotty blot

From photos no-one wants to pay to see.

A Free Press - wasn't that a privilege?

Monetising youth dumbed down hard news edge.


*"Free" newspaper available to leave on floor of public transport.

15th February 2014

Sonnet 94


 Shia - of bad features God gave you none, 

Why the paper bag for  red carpet show?*

Why attempt to put exposure in store?

It's being no-one keeps life on go slow.

Fans heart star visuals, red carpet graces,

Market saturation's at your expense,

We are  Lords and owners of your faces,

Fame's sole measure of your short excellence.

Immersion method acting keeps us sweet,

Act  out feel good guys for us or you die

At film premiers (that's where you and us meet)

We measure out red carpet dignity;

For sweetest things turn common by their deeds;

We love to strangle burnt out stars  like weeds.


*Shia LaBeouf, film star photographed on red carpet wearing a brown paper bag over his head with slogan "I AM NOT AN ATTENTION-SEEKING WHORE ANY MORE" artfully scrawled  in black marker pen, or perhaps paint.

13th February 2014

Sonnet 93


And that's how we rolled when I thought news was true,
 
Deceive'd laydee, no disaster face,

Rain; flood; hurricane and drought - so what's new?

We're stockpiling fossil fuels at  my place.

"For I can have no hatred in my eye",

Make mine just good news, not stuff I can't change,

Look what nature 's left for our history -

"It's writ in moods and frownes and wrinckles strange".

 Weather gets made in black heaven's decree,

So how we live's still down to where we dwell, 

 Science is all that we should want to be -

Who's Noah?  9 out of 10 kids can't tell.

Eve Apple's GM,  got a year to  grow

 On " Who's Left To  Eat?" reality show.

12th February 2014

Sonnet 92

Vote "Yes" for independence breakaway

Vote "No" to keep it ours not yours and mine;

When it's gone it's gone; we die if we stay

"For it depends upon that love of thine".

Since politics lost the names of the wrongs

Climate change could be the start of our end,

And brave new ideology belongs

In what's pure geographical depend.

Global democracy - all in my mind?

Environmental stewardship - convenient lie?

The rain keeps falling , I'm trying to find

Something to believe in before I die.

My secret cross could never be a blot,

But who's news is " falce,...  yet I know it not"?  

10th February 2014

Sonnet 91


Minimalist furnishings take skill

And it's often desirable to force

Removal of "objets" that make one ill;

Making room for one's Tang Dynasty horse:

Keep up peeps - it's not stuff gives us pleasure,

This house is a box where we eat and rest,

Our Functionality's  true base measure -

Let cyborgs do what we used to the best.

Dirty sex bacteria's lost on me,

Zoopla's* where to quantify human cost

In real estate where real status can be

Found, where one's "perticulers"  are one big boast .

"Wretched in this alone, that markets take

 This away, and me most indebted make" 

*Online property site.

9 th February 2014

Sonnet 90

He said "This isn't working for me now,

I feel I'm  hung out to dry  on a cross

Of compromise, it's killing me - why bow

At the altar when we've lived long past loss?

Young marrieds - they've got honeymoon sorrow,

But then years to go to get over woe;

When most family life was still tomorrow

We loved the kids too much for overthrow.

Yeah, I do drink too much : so I won't last

As long as you, and that's why it's pure spite

Drowning your man in a single malt taste -

He needs a double shot of vodka might.

            "I thought we'd passed you and your midlife woe:

             So now you're telling me?  I don't think so."

8th February 2014

Sonnet 89

Laydees hitched to men of power find their fault

Through press reportage; want to make offence

Of  intrusion, super injunctions halt

Those exposes to which there's no defence.

Man on man there's always some jealous ill,

But Laydee to Laydee that's small change:

You cheaters who forget real laydee wil -

You're not our central  issue - that's how strange

Misfortune's  prick's lashed by the female tongue

Where no thoughts of humility dwell

When a Significant Other's done them wrong:

Shames lie therein - she bitchery will tell.

    "Say that thou didst forsake mee" for debate -

      Public laydee ridicule's what I'd hate.

7th February 2014

Sonnet 88

Our bard's latter day incantation's light:

It's seen online, not put out there to scorn,

But with two men and a woman who fight

Will out.  It's not porn - real sex gets forsworne.

Was Will passive/aggressive acquainted,

So directed to make it history -

And does that leave the sonnets attainted

Like a needy lover's stab at glory?

It's been 400 years, but still he's too

Evolved to be all me me me ,not thee;

Dangerously deranged - what punters do:

Munro-bagging for a dive in Loch Me.

    Male/female interface where we belong -

    A Laydeeboy's machismo can't be wrong.

6th January 2014

Sonnet 87

Love is pure indulgence, the possessing

In a paper cup of latte estimate

Gulped by gulpers for fear of releasing

Their caffeine rush...the high's determinate.*

Big motors with blacked out windows granting

Delusions of privacy deserving

Special treatment from traffic wanting

To get home...a pedestrian swerving

Toolatecupinhandknockeddownnotknowing

Whyinalongtunnelwarmnomistaking

Brightlightbrightwhite at the end it's     growing...

The coffee cup as beggar's cup, making

A hopeful gypsy Roma cash - flatter

Love with fate, chance - or choice for that matter.


*Out of date: a term used in legal conveyances.

3rd February 2014

Sonnet 86

First, have my apologies for this  verse

And the past eighty-five if read by you,

And the next sixty-eight I might inhearce:

 Ego's the  tombe and wombe wherein they grew.

My excuse is the times in which I write

Have, I think, left natural mystery dead,

Infra red cameras illuminate night

Time sex - and leave us unastonishe'd.

What does surprise me is how Shakespeare's ghost

Defends love against what intelligence

A 21st Century woman can boast,

I am not sick of any fear from thence.

     But when Will's countenance fills up my line,

       I lack matter, his voice infeebles mine.




    

2nd February 2014

Sonnet 85

A latte papa duo - yet I'm still

Dissatisfied and that's why I compiled

This list of  faults (there's no big enough quill

To match the gigabytes their failings filled).

All my selfies on the hour make long words

Redundant - to Hell with free Will (Amen!) -

New technology is all that affords

Free expression: eyes are our only pen;

Obama, Dave and that Dane know it's true,

Imaging you here has got to mean more

Than what happens in the absence of you,

Since "...words come hind-most..." the self's held before.

    If your pix gone all global like - respect!

    We heart dumbe'd down photoshopp'd effect.







  

1st February 2014

Sonnet 84

When you were solo, before we were more,

I thought "I'll Never Find Another You"

(That was The Seekers); but more was in store...

...and it's either half or double love grew

Since your identical came here to dwell,

I get both you in all your born glory -

Menage a trois is kind of how I tell

What's our kind of 1 + 2 love story.

(Men only) Mormons' polygamy's writ,

The message re DNA's not so clear:

Two share a face - but only one got wit,

And it's tough not to have a favourite where

     Quantity's turned spousal quality's curse -

      This "We do" looks good, but it's x2 worse!